Outline I. Introduction A. Attention-getter 1. Is Myspace really just for you or is it everyone’s space to look at. 2. B. Preview main points 1. Is myspace safe for everyone or should there be limits and rules/ 2. What can experts do to limit the amount of sexual predators on myspace? 3. Are rules and certain standards necessary for myspace users? 4. Are your kids safe, at the house, school or other public Internet sources? C. Thesis statement 1. There are many things on the Internet that can endanger teens easily
II. Body A. Body paragraph #1 1. Topic sentence a. Myspace started in 2003 as a band connecting source, but then turned in to a friendly place for many different people.
2. Supporting details a. Information about myspace
b. codes d. different stories and reports that happened
e. ______________________________________________________________________ f. ______________________________________________________________________ B. Body paragraph #1 (second proof of your thesis statement) 1. Topic sentence a. _____________________________________________________________________ 2. Supporting details (proof of topic sentence; be specific with details and have enough information) a. ______________________________________________________________________ b. ______________________________________________________________________ c. ______________________________________________________________________ d. ______________________________________________________________________ e. ______________________________________________________________________ f. ______________________________________________________________________ C. Body paragraph #1 (third proof of your thesis statement) 1. Topic sentence a. _____________________________________________________________________ 2. Supporting details (proof of topic sentence; be specific with details and have enough information) a. ______________________________________________________________________ b. ______________________________________________________________________ c. ______________________________________________________________________ d. ______________________________________________________________________ e. ______________________________________________________________________ f. ______________________________________________________________________ III. Conclusion A. Re-state thesis 1. ________________________________________(Transition sentence goes here) B. Review main points 1. _______________________________________________________________________ 2. _______________________________________________________________________ 3. _______________________________________________________________________(Transition sentence goes here) C. Attention-"goer" (sometimes called the "clincher") 1. ____________________________________________

Annotation 8

Oliver Prichard
"Teens Find Freedom, Trouble with Myspace"
Knight Ridder Newspaper (KRT)

People across America are getting so swept up into myspace, they can adjust things, add things, delete things, take codes and other things they enjoy off other peoples pages, they are now allowing your choice of music and can add You Tube videos. You can pretty much call your house for a teenager; everything you know and put time into goes on that page. Because you spend so much time trying to get the best social life of having the best page or the cool new song, or even having the most friends can be a competition between friends. That leaves little or less time for schoolwork, family time, exercise, interacting with kids their own age, now days everything is done online, with the new Aim, and now myspace and face book for college students. Kids need to take a step out of the future where they can not do anything without doing online and take a break from all the danger that could be on any page you go onto.

Annotation 7

Janet Stanley
"Child abuse and the Internet "
Published By the Australian institute of Family Studies

Kids are exposed to things they shouldn't be seeing a lot over the teenage years of their life, but over half of them occur online. Teens are exposed and brought into the world where many parents do not want their kids to be. Because of this it is putting young vulnerable teens in positions they are not ready to handle yet. This can make it very easy for sexual predators to come and sweep them off their feet. They often try to talk teens into a relationship starting off as friends than slowly get more and more friendly with their victim, without them knowing what they are trying to do. Out of 501 surveyed 63% said they would rather be online that sitting and watching the television. Many young kids are learning things at earlier of earlier ages making the risk factors go up a lot in the danger online.

Annotation 6

The Blade
"Myspace a safer place;"
Pages of opinion, Newspaper
A company that does tracking on Myspace tells us that 12% of members on myspace are younger that 16, because this number is somewhat high it makes it very unsafe for vulnerable teens to meet new people and to act different of do what they see on other kids Myspace pages. Teens leave Chain messages posted in bulletins saying "add him he'll treat you right" and other words that could make any teen feel uncomfortable to be online. They pick on the young teens because they call them "easy targets" thinking that they do not know much better than not to talk to strange people online. That’s when talking to your parents about Internet safety kicks in. It is important to talk to you parents about what you’re doing online and letting them know if anything out of the normal keeps coming up. Kids in their young teens still do not know right from wrong very well, messing with people online can cause a lot of damage and trouble to kids parents and social works as in cops, judges etc. Parents need to explain to their children before letting them going out online.

Annotation 5

Alvin Chang
"Myspace tries blocking predators, but can safety measure work"?
Knight Ridder Tribune News Service

Myspace added safety features making profiles that are under the age of 18 blocked to anyone over 18, which lessens the amount of old men trying to prey on the young teens. But even that wouldn’t stop the pedophiles from seeking their goal; they would then just create another myspace claiming they were 14 so they were able to see all the myspaces that they wanted to without anyone knowing they were lying. Many teens are suing Myspace for being sexually assaulted by someone lying about his or her age, location, hometown, etc. Myspace should not be getting sued for anyone’s sexual harassment, people put it upon themselves it should be none else’s problem but their own for signing up to be a member. There is danger everyone in the world but online seems to be the hot spot. Where pedophiles can come a sweep the nation with their disgustingness that none wants around their children or friends.

Annotation 4

Eric Bloom
New Opportunities
"Danger Online"

There are many people out there trying to stop the danger of online predators. Teenagers should be able to feel safe while being online at their house school or anywhere else. There are cops and detectives out there trying to lure in the sexual predators just so they can get caught and have one less fright online. The argument of whether or not internet in school should be allowed, if it is pulled from the teens fingertips it would keep the safe from what parent and teachers can not keep them safe from. But keeping them from the Internet is on of the best way children learn; there is a lot of educational things and entertainment for everyone. Many sexual predators that are willing to go the mile to get what they want will often travel far distances just to get the chance to do what they want with teens today. Myspace is one of these spots, someone can add you and see that you like all the same stuff not know that the predator just recently made his to fit your personality to try to slowly attack you.

Annotation 3

Cathrine Sailiant
"Testing the Bounds of Myspace"
Los Angeles Times
April 8th 2006 pp. A 1 +

Myspace can give away a lot of personal information, many people take survys that ask a lot of personal questions for example: Have you ever taken drugs? Are you a virgin? Have you ever killed someone? These questions are not okay for young teenagers to already be seeing and answering. Kids quickly spread the word that they got a myspace and soon everyone of their friends' want one. Parents should closely watch their children, making sure they know what their doing on myspace to keep themselves out of danger. Many strange people on myspace are not who they always say they are which can lead teenagers into their trap where the sexual predators want them. If parents put strict rules and allow certain things and watch their kids on the internet will help protect a lot of young teenage girls today. Teens are using improper grammer which is corrupting their english writing. They start writing in slang in papers when they write on homework assingments etc. It also makes kids addicted always checking to see if they got new friend request, picture comment, or new comment, that can interurpt with their family time making them less social with their family.

Annotation 2

Apuzzo Matt
"Teens at Risk on Web Sites, Experts Say"
HARTFORD COURANT Feb. 19 2006

Myspace profiles have been used more than to compare similar intrests but to threaten classmates, mock kids and school staff and to show a negitive sign of teenagers that half the parents do not know about. There is rules on Myspace but they are not always followed, myspace forbids 13 and under from signing up. Although there is this rule the majority of the kids that want myspaces will get them by lying about their age. There is even bullies online believe it or not, they spread rumors, make up lies, and threaten classmates or strangers. A lot of schools are trying to block a lot of websites to keep the kids safe at school, and some schools trying to get rid of the internet.

Annotation

Annotation

By: Michelle Andrews
U.S. NEWS & WORLD REPORT Sept. 18, 2006, Vol. 141, No. 10, pp. 46+
© 2006, McClatchy-Tribune Information Services.
"Decoding MySpace"

This article is about the danger on mypsace. Myspace started out as a place for musicians and bands to connect with eachother and spread their music. It started as that but soon enough it changed into a hot spot for over 100 million people that changed the image of myspace. Because so many people are invloved in this website it is also a hot spot for sexual predators to sweep young kids that display there name, hometown, age, and school. Many predators change their name, age, and location, and put fake picutres us to fake young girls to try and get them to meet up with them somewhere. Kids can be safe online and others can be unsafe. The kids that are safe do not add people to their friends list when they get a request. When young girls oblivious to the danger get online is when the danger increases and begins. Kids need to become more safe if they are going to be online.

Spring break Raft

Over my spring break I went to Florida. I was there for a week from Saturday to Saturday. I went to the beach everyday and went Go Karting and Mini golfing. I went with maria and amanda. I killed a jelly fish because it tried to attack me. On the flight home our plane got overbooked so we had to wait an extra hour for the next plane. Even though we had to wait it was alright because than we got first class on the way home and free ticket vouchers . When i got back it was Saint Patricks Day so i celebrated with a couple of my friends. So over all my spring break was a lot of fun.

outline

Outline
I. Introduction
A. Attention-getter
Humans help destroy their lives by destroying the o zone layer day by day.
1. People are creating holes in the o zone layer, which is making the sun more dangerous to our skin, and more people every year are getting skin cancer.
2. People are using a lot of energy, which causes us to burn fuel and pollute the air. With the different gases we have, and with the objects almost everyone owns in their own houses.
3. The increasing temperature is making it hard to grow food and is ruining a lot of plantations and habitats for the animals.
1. The topics I just talked about is what humans are doing to themselves which is creating the problem with holes in the o zone layer and global warming.
2.
II.
BodyA. Body paragraph #1 (first proof of your thesis statement)
1. Topic sentence.
The growth of skin cancer around the world is growing at an extreme rate.
2. Supporting details
3. a. Throughout the years many more women have been diagnosed with BCC (the most common skin cancer). Some rates that I found on “Skin Cancer Rates On the Rise Among Young People” are in
1976-1979 13.4 out of 100,000 but then in 2000-2003 31.6 out of 100,000 were diagnosed.
b. Part of the reason so many people are getting skin cancer is because of the holes in the o zone layer that are being created.
c. It doesn't help either when teenagers think it is only necessary to be tan in the summer and winter. They do whatever they can to become tan. Even using the very dangerous tanning beds year round.
d. The dangers increase when not using the right equipment to protect your self, like suntan lotion, hats, umbrellas, and even trying to prevent being in the sun for long periods of time.
B. Body paragraph
#1 (second proof of your thesis statement)
1. Topic sentence.
Driving back and forth from home to work and school etc. doesn't help our environment either.
2. Supporting details (proof of topic sentence; be specific with details and have enough information)
a. We burn a lot of fuel in one day around the whole world. Even though gas prices are rising the amount of fuel being burned every day is not decreasing.
b. The fuel is not only polluting our air but it is decomposing the ozone layer, along with making the rate of wild fires rise increasingly.
c. Most of houses in the world are helping continue with the problem by having aerosol cans with hairspray or spray paint that also causes a lot of damage to the air.
C. Body paragraph #1 (third proof of your thesis statement)
1. Topic sentence.
The increasing temperature from the thinning of the o zone layer is hurting our environment.
2. Supporting details (proof of topic sentence; be specific with details and have enough information)
a. It is making it hard to grow a lot of our foods that are grown outside because of the temperature it is making it difficult to keep them alive.
b. Animals are having a hard time adapting to this lifestyle with the temperature and trying to create homes for themselves by constantly having to find new places to build their homes.
III. ConclusionA.
Re-state thesis1.
Humans are creating these problems and solutions need to be taken in to action to help save the ecosystem.(Transition sentence goes here)
B. Review main points1.
By using non-fueled powered cars it can help lessen the amount of gas in the air.
2. People can switch to pump bottles for their hairspray and cans of paint to also decrease the amount of different pollutions in the air.Transition sentence goes here)
C. Attention-"goer" (sometimes called the "clincher")
1. We need to start recognizing the problem that is going on and start doing something about it like the ideas I just gave and we can start seeing the changes around the world soon enough.

Day 5 Climate problem- solution

The problem:

The drastic chage of temperature around the world is causing major problems to the earths atmosphere. The world's O zone layer is slowly disappearing, at this rate it will not take long for the O Zone layer to be completely gone.Which can be bad for the earth’s ecosystem. It will cause the land temperatures to rise increasingly and that can cause and uncomfortably living situation for many people. This is one of the bigger problems of the world and action needs to take place.

Evidence:

The major evidence that has been spotted is that glaciers in the northern hemisphere have been melting very quickly causing many of the ocean levels to increase dramatically. But at the same time the water current is moving a litlle slower than it used to. There has even been holes in our O zone layer which can let in dangerous ultraviolet rays which can damage human skin. The holes got there by humans burning fossil fuels such as coal, gas and oil and clearing the forests as much as they have. Not only does Global warming effect humans it has also effects over 279 species of animals. Right now scientist are debating if it is a major problem and it looks to me that it is having or is going to be having a major effect on us.

Contributing Factors:

Some major contributing facotors is how much fuel an average person burns a day but take that much and times it by how many people you have in the world that is a lot of fuel to burn around the world no wonder our O Zone layer has holes in it. Another factor is the hairspray, spray paint aerosol cans a lot of us use that damages the O Zone layer just as much as the fuel does only leaving us with holes. Humans are the main contributing factor they seem to have a lot of garbage that has to go some where and that is where the land fills come in which does the same thing as the fuel and aerocol cans.

Solution:

we can slow down the process of this happeing by recylcing more and being more efficeint around everyday things such as electricty in your houses, try not to use as much each day. Making less fuled cars, have them run on something other than fuel that can pollute. Also companies could stop making the aerosol cans and start using only pump bottles or cans that don't spray to help stop this problem.

Problem Solution

Problem Solution

Problem:
Tartan is to crowded, there is to many students in tartan.


Evidence:
~ Takes a long time to get to your locker and to class.
~Not as many desks for all the students
~Classes are to full

Contributing Factors:
~Kids trasferring from different school for sports
~The shape of our school

Solution:
Not having open enrollment at our school which just keeps letting more and more people in our school when there is not enough space in our school.

RAFT feb 5th

Feb. 5th 2007